Steaming Mad

“If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all..”

So I went in to get Marta-ed. Yeah, I know it’s not called MARTA anymore; it’s technically emissions testing. But I still refer to all the Macys/Parisian/Hechts/Belks around town as Castner Knott and Cain Sloan, so sue me.

I thought I did everything correctly. I went in the middle of the week in the middle of the month in the middle of the afternoon when I figured nobody was desperate to get their registration before Mickey Metro popped them for expired tags. I entered the roundabout driveway at the Emissions Testing station on Craighead and hung at the back of the pack so that I could still count cars and switch lanes to the shortest one like I was waiting for a drive-through teller. Wnen somebdy pulled in behind me, I made my shift at the last possible second to the lane that seemed to be moving the fastest.

I continued to advance toward the testing bay, obdiently turning off my my cell phone, a/c and radio. I was second in line with about twenty cars behind me (suckers!) spread across all three lanes.

Then the POS Buick right in front of me overheated and shot a geyser that would make both Old Faithful and Ron Jeremy proud. Needless to say, nobody was in the mood to let the guy second in line merge over into a new lane just because the car in front of him was utterly incapacitated. An hour later when the wrecker arrived to tow off the beater in front of me, the testing employee was quick and courteous. It wasn’t her fault, but I might have seemed a little cranky myself.

So what are your hints to get through the bureacracy of emisions testing and vehicle registration? Maybe I’ll remember for next year.

“Gloom, depair and agony on me.”

6 Comments so far

  1. Lesley (unregistered) on June 25th, 2007 @ 2:50 pm

    I went on the 13th of the month and still had to wait 45 minutes. There were only like five cars in front of me, but as I am Murphy, the other lines moved faster.

    I think it’s a load of crap, this testing. It shouldn’t be required on cars that are less than five years old and probably not even less than ten. Every time they tell me I passed, I feel like saying, “DUH!”


  2. Jay (unregistered) on June 25th, 2007 @ 4:08 pm

    I live in the neighborhood and I recommend going at the first minute they open. Any other time of day I see lines all the way to access road.


  3. Jay (unregistered) on June 25th, 2007 @ 4:11 pm

    I live in the neighborhood and I recommend going at the first minute they open. Any other time of day I see lines all the way to access road.


  4. Jay (unregistered) on June 25th, 2007 @ 4:12 pm

    Oh, and +1 for the Hee Haw reference.


  5. Sarcastro (unregistered) on June 25th, 2007 @ 7:34 pm

    Mid-month Saturday morning between 7-8 at the testing center on Antioch Pike.

    Three cars in line, tops.


  6. Holly Deal (unregistered) on June 25th, 2007 @ 9:25 pm

    I usually go in the mid-afternoon and have seldom had any wait. This year I went to the Antioch one around 4:30 and only waited about 20 minutes. A couple of years back I went to the Westbelt Drive location and had no wait at all at 3:45. No line at all. That was awesome.

    Now, waiting in line at the police station is the pits. Literally. This year I waited in line at South almost my entire lunch hour behind a guy with some of the worst B.O. I’ve experienced in a long while. Phew!

    And I still call it MARTA too…



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